Friday, March 21, 2014

"THREE PIGS STURM GATES of HELL, capture Satan" <<<<< NOT ! ! !

you will not see that headline.  However, bear with me as this resembles but is not the fairytale.

"Embittered by their loss of housing, foreclosed, and dispossessed, these three pigs joined a rag tag group of rebels.   The rebels not trusting them, told them to " Go To Hell !! "  Disappointment at rejection by the rebels gave the pigs more angst until they decided to take the negative and make it a positive.  " We WILL Go to HELL, and Capture Satan to stand trial for his misdeeds !!"

   Begging weapons from the rebels, Hambo, Bacon & Pork came up with a plan.  By the dark of the moon, they would whack the sentry, Stan Morg, a known thief, who guarded the Zodiac and cross the Straits of Hell.  Once there, PORK would become Mz Pork Chop or the Pig who wore lipstick, and entice the lone sentry from Tower of Hades Command Center, out and Hambo would whack him, just like Stan Morg ( turned out he was a low level troll by the name of Frank - Morg had bolted a week earlier).  It went as planned, and
the sentry, a country boy named Po Bolony, found himself in plastic cuffs, face down Mz. Pork Chops hoof on his neck, while Bacon and Hambo C-4'd the door and detonated 2 stun and 2 flashbang grenades, stunning Satan at the Command Console. Hambo jumped him as he tried to stagger away, and Bacon tethered him with the plastic cuffs and collar, rendering him immobile.
      A thunderous noise was upon them, as Satan had started the Self-Destruct Sequence Module, which Hambo had shut off, but not before the Gates of Hell opened momentarily and sent a  2 sq. mile column of super-heated air 50,000 feet into Earth's atmosphere, starting a Super-Cell Hail Storm ( from Hell, literally) that rained 2" hail balls over all of Hell's half acre, and dropped the temperature to -20 F.  Stunned Hambo & Bacon surveyed the scene outdoors.  PO & Mz Porky were safe under cover but shivering.
      The entire landscape as far as you could see, was shining white, covered in a foot thick crust of hail.   Using their US surplus PRC-6 radio sets, the Pigs called the Rebels and this was their message in Morse Code.

" WE have Captured Satan, because

                                                     out !" 

And from that day on, it was known as THE DAY HELL FROZE OVER.

This is a re-tread from Oct 3, 2013, however as we approach the ANNIVERSARY of TAX MASSACRE DAY, I thought it was worth a repeat.

Further the close the HUI & GDX get to the STRAITS of HELL, the more appropriate this feels and the harder I laugh.    For background, I will also re-tread the FOUR GOLDBUG FACTS from HELL for an update.

Good Luck,


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